You Can Build Self Esteem – even though the scientists might argue about its definition

You might think that self esteem was easy to define but there isn’t perfect agreement within the scientific community as to exactly what it is, but the major options currently boil down to two.

1) An emotional response: that’s a generalised feeling that people have towards themselves that is more or less positive.

2) The cumulative result of a set of judgements: judgements about one's adequacy, intellectual competence,social skills, appearance and physical co-ordination. The California Task Force to Promote Self Esteem came up with the following generalisations:

• Appreciating my own worth and importance and having the character to be accountable for myself and to act responsibly toward others.

• Appreciating our Worth and Importance involves accepting ourselves, setting realistic expectations, forgiving ourselves and others, taking risks, trusting, and expressing feelings. It also rests on appreciating our creativity, our minds, our bodies, and our spiritual beings.

• Appreciating the Worth and Importance of Others means affirming each person's unique worth, giving personal attention, and demonstrating respect, acceptance, and support. This principle also means setting realistic expectations, providing a sensible structure, forgiving others, taking risks, appreciating the benefits of a multicultural society, accepting emotional expressions, and negotiating rather than being abusive.

• Affirming Accountability for Ourselves requires taking responsibility for our decisions and actions, being a person of integrity, understanding and affirming our values, attending to our physical health, and taking responsibility for our actions as parents.

• Affirming our Responsibility Toward Others means respecting the dignity of being human, encouraging independence, creating a sense of belonging, developing basic skills, providing physical support and safety, fostering a democratic environment, recognizing the balance between freedom and responsibility, balancing cooperation and competition, and serving humanity.

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Irrespective of your view, our self esteem has huge implications in our life. Starting out as children, it follows us throughout the whole of our lives, affects all our decisions - and, most importantly needs constant tending.

American psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908 -1970) in his hierarchy of needs describes two kinds of such needs:

1) The need for respect from others – recognition, appreciation and acceptance

2) The need for self respect

If we are unable to fulfil these needs we feel discouraged, inferior and have a poor self image that may well lead to anxiety and depression. So those of us brimming with self-esteem might be ready to take on the world, but what of the others? Those who are not so confident of their abilities? Where do they stand?

Well, my view is that on a one to ten scale, no one starts from zero! Irrespective of where you are on the continuum there are numerous ways of building on what you already have and improving your self image. Be it weight loss or just an illusive search for happiness, here are some simple techniques that, with practice will enable you to move further up the scale.

FREE Secrets to boost Your Confidence and Self Esteem


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